Crying is the Same at All Ages

When I have panic attacks, there's always one thing I end up doing. I'll sit somewhere secluded, rock myself back and forth, and make shushing noises. At some point during this, I invariably find myself wondering why I'm doing that? I never had an answer and I couldn't even tell if it helped, but I always ended up doing it anyway.

But guess what! I know why I do it now!

On Sunday, my mom, my sister Kimberly, and I were chatting after church. As Kin is still hugely pregnant, we naturally got onto the topic of babies and Kin told us about one of the new things she had learned. It's called "The 5 S's" or something like that.  If I remember right, the 5 S's are swaddling, sleeping, swinging... something else, and shushing. She told us about how when a baby is crying you need to shush louder than they're crying so they can hear you, and rock them back and forth more vigorously if they're crying harder. It sounds odd, and likely the mental picture this gives you is also odd, but it is apparently very soothing to the baby. Saying, "Shhh, shhhh," over and over calms a baby down.

After Kin mentioned that, I had a moment of, "Oh! That's why I do it!" Thinking back, whenever I do start shushing myself when I'm panicking, it does stop my crying. My sister mentioned that shushing is also soothing to an adult. Why? I have no idea. When I picture someone shushing me when I'm not upset, it seems like it would be obnoxious, but when I'm in tears, it's not. Weird. I suppose it's just something that stayed with me from my baby years. It calmed me then, it calms me now. Maybe it's relaxing because when someone is saying, "Shhh," the noise is loud enough that you can hear it past your tears, and it thus reminds you that someone is with you and watching over you.

I feel slightly cool that my natural instinct when I'm panicking is clinically proven to be soothing. It's also nice that I won't have to wonder what the heck I'm doing next time I have a panic attack. Yay!

Growing Up

I'm beginning to notice more and more these days just how much an adult's perspective of the world differs from a child's. It tends to be darker and more pessimistic - or the preferred term "realistic". Some of the wonder of the world is lost as you grow. Sometimes I think about how much I miss being a child and being so carefree and innocent. But then I think, if I were a child again, what would I lose? Growing up may take away some of the simple joys, but it gives you new ones, if you're willing to be brave and think optimistic thoughts. Sometimes they're realistic too.

What I've noticed most recently is that there are things we carry with us from childhood that we sometimes need to be retaught when we grow. They're different for everyone. For some they may have to re-discover their faith, others relearn their beliefs, while others may have to repave the road to their goals. Sometimes the things we learn growing up don't fit quite so cleanly with what we may've known as a child. Does that mean they're wrong? Or is it simply a chance to become like a child again and learn with new eyes the things we always knew?

Maybe we shouldn't spent all our adult years mourning the loss of childhood. True, adulthood doesn't give the same simple joys as youth - it has different ones. It has the chance to learn things fresh, to see the world more, to actually live adventures instead of acting them out in your backyard with your friends. Sure, it'll be hard and scary sometimes, but it wouldn't be worth it if it wasn't.